Kids are SO clever!

Kids are clever. Crafty, manipulative and very, very clever…🙄

And the most clever trick of all is getting Mum to agree to anything they want by asking when she’s on the phone.

Bloody genius!

My children do it all the time – and that includes the ‘adults’. EVERY SINGLE TIME I’m on an important phone call, they ask me if they can have something or do something that they know I would ordinarily say no to. Little shits. 😉

I’ll be chatting away and I’ll start to hear another voice near me getting louder & louder, until I just cannot ignore it any longer.

It’s like they mumble the important bit that would actually tell me what they want to do, then just keep saying “Muuuuum”. “Muuuuum can I?”. “Muuuuum so and so needs to know”. “Muuuuum!!'”, until I relent and say “For Christs sake, yes!”.

And then they’re gone. Silence returns to the background as I continue my important phone call – and I’m incredibly grateful for it. Until later that day or the following day when whichever child has conned me sets off to do the thing they tricked into agreeing to.

‘Where are you going?’ I ask innocently. ‘To Freds’/’To that all night rave’/’To buy a new mobile phone’/’To Magaluf’, (or some other idiotic idea) comes the reply.

‘Oh no you’re not!’ I say. ‘But Mum, you said I could!’ 😏 ‘Of course I didn’t say yes to that! Who in their right mind would agree to that???’

‘You, when you were on the phone – bye then, don’t wait up!’

And then they’re gone. The silence returns once more, reminding me of that call. Making me ask myself if I ever did anything like this to my parents (I never 😉).

That evening I sit in the silence with a cup of tea (new diet) and marvel at the way children have this inbuilt sense of when is the best time for them to get a yes from us when we would ordinarily say NO.

Bloody genius! 

 

A Bad Pain Day

Today is a bad day. By bad day I mean in pain terms. 

For those of you who haven’t read my bio, I have a back condition that causes me daily chronic pain and I combat this with medication in the form of tablets, patches, liquid painkiller, spinal injections and denervation.

Generally I can keep going by mentally putting my pain into a box in my head, which means although I’m still in pain, I can manage to get through the day. 

But having waited for spinal injections and denervation for a year instead of the 4 – 6 months that I’m supposed to have them, the pain seems to be slowly taking over my life. And it’s shit

  • It’s shit that I can’t do things with my children like I used to.
  • It’s shit that I’ve had to give up a job I loved.
  • It’s shit that I’m having to take so much medication to try and combat the pain.
  • It’s shit that I have to rely on other people to do things.
  • It’s shit that I have to cancel plans with friends at short notice because I can’t move. 
  • It’s shit that I can’t sleep at night because of the pain waking me up.
  • It’s shit that when I do try and get out of bed, I have to take morphine so help the pain and stiffness ease before I can move.
  • It’s shit that I have days like today, where I have so much pain that I can’t go out.

The NHS pain clinic still can’t tell me when my injections will be done. They can’t even give me a timescale. 🙄

Having spoken to my doctor, I’m now having to be referred to a musculoskeletal consultant to see if they’ll be able to do something sooner. In the meantime it means that days like this will happen more and more. My medication will continue to increase. 

And it’ll still be shit…….

Of course, all this pain is also affecting my mood. I’m becoming snappier, mainly because I’m tired all the time due to lack of sleep. But also because this pain is all consuming and at the moment I just can’t see a way out. 

So if you know anyone going through something like this, don’t judge – you have no idea what they are going through. Instead, please remember to ask them the following 5 questions.

I have Lovely Man and my family to help me through the dark days. I honestly don’t know how people who don’t have that support manage. 😕

Am I Too Old For Concerts?

I’m 46. Erm, 47 🙄. My children are 22, 21 and almost 12.

When I was young, concerts weren’t really my thing. I was working a lot and if I’m honest, my mum wouldn’t have let me! She’s always been controlling and now when I look back, I can’t quite believe I didn’t tell her to piss off when she said I couldn’t do something and I was in my 20’s!! 😡

Anyway, over the last few years I’ve started to go to concerts (originally to chaperone the kids!) and I realised that I really enjoyed  them! I hope I don’t look too stupid when I’m hyperventilating over Ed Sheeran coming onto the stage!!!

Since starting to go, I’ve seen a weird heavy metal band 🙄, Little Mix, Ariana Grande, Ed Sheeran, Justin Beiber, Jason Derulo, Jessie J and many others. I love the atmosphere – not so much the prices of tickets & souvenirs though! 🙄

This year I decided that concert tickets would be a great way of rewarding Gorgeous Girl for her  hard work at school. So far we have quite a few lined up! We’ve got Ariana Grande & Little Mix next month and a really unusual one at the Royal Albert Hall to see the first Harry Potter film while the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra play the score live.  Now that’s one I’m really looking forward to!

But tonight is a BIG one! My cousin and I are going to the O2 to see Bruno Mars!!! My friends are very jealous that we managed to get tickets. 😉 She’s picking me up and we’re driving there. I’ve been on virtual bed rest today to make sure my back would be in the best possible condition, and am just about to start to get ready. 🙂

But one thing niggles me. Am I Just. Too. Old…..?

I know that when we get there, there will be lots of youngsters in gorgeous clothes and funky hair, ready to have an amazing evening.  Will they be sniggering at me behind my back?

It’s something that I worry about – but not enough to keep me away! 😉  I’m going for a trashy Khloé Kardashian look this evening, and I’m going to thoroughly enjoy myself.

My cousin and I will have an amazing time, strutting your funky stuff to the cool sounds of Mr Bruno Mars.  I don’t think I’ll ever be too old for concerts….

Footnote – The concert was last night. (I got too carried away getting ready to post this pre concert 😉)

So my cousin picked me up around 5pm for a 40 minute journey. The concert didn’t start til 7.30 so we had plenty of time. Except we didn’t.

At 7.30 we were still sitting in a long queue trying to park. We got into a space around 7.45 and after paying £25 to park – yes, twenty five pounds 🙄 – we got into the O2 just before 8pm…..

Bruno Mars arrived on stage at 9.15ish (the pre showband was rubbish), and although he was amazing, he said goodnight at 10.30. Christ, that was quick!!! It had taken us longer to get there than he’d performed for 😮

To then add insult lt to injury, we got to the car park and couldn’t even get out of the space for 40 minutes. My cousin dropped me off at about 3.30 am .The A40 was closed off and as we followed the diversion, so was the road we were being sent down – only on Sunday morning did I realise that it was the London Marathon that was the reason for the additional delays, and as usual one road team hadn’t spoken to the other.

It was a good night. I had loads of fun having an adult evening with my cousin instead of our usual parent and child meet ups, but 10 1/2 hours to see Mr Mars for 75 minutes?

I’m glad I’m seeing someone else next time….

Room With A Queue?…

There seems to be a theme with the titles of my last couple of posts, but I’m going to run with it anyway as it was the first thing that came into my head. 🙂

We are on our last night at Lovely Mans. As you’ll know if you’ve read some of my earlier posts, Lovely Man lives a couple of hours away from me. Gorgeous Girl and I have been here since Monday as it’s the school holidays and for the most part it’s been great.

But there’s one thing that I just can’t fathom, and that’s why every bloody person in the house wants to sleep in our room! 

Now the house isn’t short of bedrooms, having four in total, the main three being huge and the fourth being smaller. They all have lovely beds and lovely decor. So why on earth does Gorgeous Girl insist on ‘making a nest’ on the floor in our room??? 

I just can’t fathom it. She was fine at the start – remember she’s been coming to this house for many years, as did the older two when they were younger and didn’t have the distraction of girls, boys and jobs to make them want to stay at home during weekends and holidays. At that time they each had their own room and they all – including Gorgeous Girl – slept in their own beds. Happily.

So what’s changed? 

Well her movie choices certainly have, which may have something to do with it. 


Not that I allow her to watch films that are inappropriate for her age, but the films and tv shows of today are nothing, and I mean nothing like the ones I used to watch. 

At her age I was watching Lassie Come Home or Rentaghost, not 13 Reasons Why (a series about why a schoolgirl commits suicide….). Because of the story, I watch it with her so that I can explain anything she doesn’t understand or feels uncomfortable watching. She seems to like it and hasn’t asked too many questions, which I think I’m pleased about. 🤔 

Another film suggested by her form tutor was ‘Eye In the Sky’, an interesting film about terrorists and the decision having to be taken to shoot remotely via a drone, knowing full well they may kill a little girl. Again, I watched it with her and she seemed incredibly interested in it, but sadly not too shocked at the storyline. 

Maybe it’s the things she views. Or maybe it’s the house. His house is gorgeous. A 1930s detached home just a few minutes from the sea. I love it. I love it’s character and feel completely at ease here. But I suppose I can understand why it would make you feel nervous. In the evening with a couple of lights on, it could look like it’s straight out of a creepy movie!

        NOT his actual house!…..😉

And then there’s the dog. Yep, the dog’s in with us too. Sigh. 🙄 This is one spoiled pooch. She has two beds downstairs and a further three in the bedrooms – the kids were all so desperate to be her favourite that they did their best to bribe her to stay with them – and yet not only is Gorgeous Girl making a nest, but following closely behind is the dog! 


So I’m writing this because at the moment I have a man on my right snoring gently, a girl on the floor to my left talking in her sleep and grinding her teeth, and a dog snuggled underneath the dressing table stool making funny noises because she’s dreaming.

I think I’ll be making use of one of the empty beds….!

Driving Miss Crazy….

Getting ready to go on a trip stresses me out terribly. Whether it’s a picnic somewhere close or a flight to an exotic destination with a gorgeous hotel and an open bar – it doesn’t matter – I get so stressed that I worry about every little detail, from pork pies to passports.

When going abroad, I have a huge travel wallet and a copy of every booking and confirmation in there – that I have cross referenced to confirm times and dates, just to make sure I’ve booked them correctly!

Of course, holidays abroad are much more stressful, mainly because there’s so much to remember. Flight dates, times, weight of the luggage, day trips etc., etc.

Day trips within the U.K. and trips to Lovely Mans however, still make me stressed and snappy – and I’m just Not. Sure. Why….

I started writing this because we were embarking on a trip to Lovely Mans for 4 days and (as usual) I was unbelievably grumpy on the run up to leaving. It’s like I’ve never done the trip before, yet it’s something I’ve done probably hundreds of times over the past 15 years. There I was snapping at Gorgeous Girl just because I couldn’t find the dogs harness for in the car. My reason? She sits in the back with the dog so must know where it is. Honestly ….🙄

When we finally left, Lovely Man was driving my car – and he seemed so on edge. I couldn’t work out why…until I realised. It was because of me 😕

With my stressing about what needed to go in the car and what didn’t, how to keep the dog under control, making sure there was something to snack on in case of traffic, whether we had enough fuel, etc., etc., I’d inadvertently stressed him out and turned him into a tensed up wreck!

Stress is contagious – who knew?!?!

Once I’d realised what I’d done, I immediately felt terrible. Just because I’m a real worrier, I shouldn’t have allowed it to affect everyone else. And I had.

So I tried my best to cheer everyone up, by offering to drive (‘No thanks, I’m OK’) and trying to chat to Gorgeous Girl (‘I’m listening to something Mum’) Oh dear…😔

I finally tried something I felt sure would help – Chocolate!😉 It worked thank goodness! Soon we were laughing, singing and trying a mixture of Hershey’s Cookies ‘n Creme, soft peppermint rock and my car staple – lollipops.

The rest of the 2 hour journey went smoothly, and when we got to Lovely Mans it emerged that I hadn’t forgotten anything. Except perhaps my sanity.

From now on I’m going to do my best to stop stressing about trivial things. I’m not sure it’ll work, but I’ll do my best…..😕

Holiday Travel.

TV Show Recording? -NEVER Again….🙄

Have you ever been to see a television show being recorded?… I have. And if I ever mention in a post that I’m thinking of going back, please feel free to shout obscenities at me until I change my mind…..

Many years ago I went to several filmings of the same show, mainly because my Mum had tickets for around 30 people and needed someone to fill the spaces. It was for a Z list celebs chat show. I can’t actually remember her name off of  the top of my head, but she has long blonde hair, a very posh voice and is Jewish.

Anyway…we were picked up in a coach and driven to the studio, where we were taken inside and given drinks & nibbles before being escorted to our seats ready to watch the show. Then, when it was over, we were taken home again.

All in all a nice afternoon out. 🙂

So, when my friend invited me to go to a filming of Saturday Night Takeaway I said yes immediately! I LOVE the show – it’s something I can watch with the kids without cringing inside at the language, sexual content or the like. 😬

We jumped on the train and got to the studios at about 2pm. And the queue was already around half a mile long, for a show that didn’t start until 7.30…..

We had ‘priority’ tickets. This meant we still had to queue, but just not for as long. 🙄 After around 3 hours of queuing outside we were taken in. ‘This is it!’ We thought. ‘No more waiting in the cold for hours! We’ll be in comfy warm seats any minute.’

How wrong we’re we????

So we were herded into the ITV compound – and yet again lined up outside in the freezing cold. My friend had told them when we got there that I was disabled, but they hadn’t offered a chair and there was nowhere nearby to sit. At least when we got inside I was able to sit on one of 4 seats available.

That’s when I realised what a huge hobby this is for some people. I sat next to a lady in jeans and a green canvas parka. She had not a scrap of make up on and hadn’t washed her hair. This wouldn’t normally have even occurred to me, but this show is huge on audience interaction. There’s no real dress code, but it’s ‘dress to impress’ so I was just surprised I suppose. She turned and said to me ”Av you seen this before?’ in a strong East London accent. When I said no, she replied ‘I ‘av. 6 times. Paul O’Grady 11 times, Loose Women 3 times – I don’t like it but my mate does, so I go wiv ‘er.’

She was a lovely lady, and continued to tell me who she’d seen, shows that I’ve never even  heard of. I saw pictures of her parrot, her dog and was shown her 27 tattoos that had apparently got her interviewed once on one of the shows.

I had a lady on my other side who was dressed to impress – but this was also one of her hobbies, and at that time, sitting freezing after travelling and queuing for hours I just couldn’t see the attraction. This lady was lovely. Very smiley and chatty and looked completely normal. Yet she’d travelled from the coast, around 3 hours away to see the show. Hmmm…🤔

When we were finally allowed in, it turned out that there were only around 50 seats left, as the majority of the seating was taken up by competition winners and the like.

We sat behind a family and I noticed the lady fishing around in her bag. She got a bag of sweets out, then caught the attention of the floor manager. She threw the bag of sweets to him and he said ‘My favourites!’. That was when I saw just how many people were fans of attending show audiences.

I suppose it’s a free day out for some. For others it’s a chance to catch the eye of a celebrity. Just not for me I suppose.

It was a nice hour. We saw a few celebs, Ant & Dec were great as usual. Stephen Mulhern was hilarious and has a fantastic sense of humour. But it was an hour.

Seven or eight hours of queuing for a single hour of filming. And because there were so few seats left, the majority of the people who had been queuing since the morning were turned away. Including the tattooed lady I’d been talking to earlier.

So please, please, please! if I EVER mention going to be part of a studio audience in the future, remind me of this post! 😉

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Our Governments Treatment of Veterans Makes Me Ashamed to be British.

What do you think of our treatment of retiring service personnel? Until recently I didn’t really have much of an opinion. I thought they were treated fairly well – not anywhere near as well as they deserved, and certainly not as well as the Americans treat theirs. But as well as we could.

Then my friends father retired.

This is a man who has served his country for 34 YEARS. How many people can say they’ve stayed in the same job for 34 bloody years??? Well this man can.

He can also tell you about his two tours of Northern Ireland. And how his best friend was blown to pieces in front of him. Along with many other dreadful memories that haunt his dreams….He doesn’t. But he could.

So anyway, this man lives in service housing, on (what was) a base (before most of it was sold off to the highest bidder). He lives with his wife, his son, daughter and her little girl in a 4 bedroom house.

But believe it or not, he is currently in the process of being evicted. And I for one think it’s a bloody disgrace.

They (and we) are told that when a serviceman retires, he is priority for housing in the borough in which they currently live. What they don’t tell them is that they don’t give a shit about his family.

This is the same family who have moved from pillar to post when their father was serving. From living up north, to Germany, and now currently in London, with many more places in between, they have moved as a family, changing schools, leaving friends – and yet that means NOTHING to either the services or the council.

The services have told him to go to the council, the council have said they will house him & his wife, but his children and grandchild don’t qualify for housing. Even though his granddaughter was born in the local hospital.

Of course, the council have a duty of care to children – but not this 2 year old apparently. Because her mummy WORKS. 😱

If she gave up her job, they’d have to house her, but she wants to give her daughter a good work ethic. And she can’t do that when she’s sitting on her arse at home….

They haven’t lived in the area for 10 years, (because of having to move with his job) so apparently don’t have enough ‘ties ‘ to the Borough. They all work in the Borough, but working doesn’t get you housing ‘points’. 🙄

The more I hear, the more it sickens me. This family, who have tried desperately over the years to stay together, have effectively been told ‘tough’ by the authorities.

They can’t afford to rent in this area, where a 4 bedroom house is in excess of £2k a month. So they are having to move. Around 3 1/2 hours away from their friends, their employment. Their LIVES.

This governnent policy has failed them miserably – and successfully broken them. The son is staying in London with his partners family, while the rest of them move. They’ve ALL had to leave their jobs and are moving with no sure guarantees of employment when they get there.

The little girl hasn’t known any different. The family dynamic she is used to will now be shattered, the uncle she sang songs with daily now hours away. Her mummyand nanny won’t be working (at least for a while) and neither will her grandad.

So thank you, British government. For all your ‘help’ for this former serviceman and his family.

Ironically, had the council helped this family, we’d only be paying low housing costs for them, as the majority of the household would be working. The unemployment figures would be 3 less. And we wouldn’t have had to pay all their moving costs to ship them to a borough with high unemployment, but lower rents.

Something to think about perhaps?

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