The Elf on the Shelf is watching you…

Have you got an Elf on the Shelf in your house? Do you find them as bloody creepy as I do?

Im SO glad my youngest is too old for one. I’d be having nightmares if we had one in the house. I am convinced they sit and watch you all night, trying to decide whether a claw hammer or kitchen knife would be best to dispatch you with.


This is Elf on the Shelf for those of you not familiar with him. He is apparently a Christmas ‘tradition’. I’m not sure where…probably Hell 😱

They’re said to be scout Elves for Santa and watch your child during the day, then report back to Santa at night. Then, when your little darlings wake in the morning  they have to find out where the Elf is lurking and see what he’s doing.

This is where it becomes a gigantic pain in the arse. Because you can’t just sit the Elf in the kitchen for the children to find. Oh no! You have to sit him in the kitchen perhaps eating a bowl of cereal or reading a miniature newspaper – and it seems to me that this part of a so called ‘tradition’, is now costing a fortune. 🙄

People are looking to outdo each other in what the Elf gives their little darling or what it’s been doing all night, so a simple Google and you will find an unending flow of suggestions as to what your Elf can be doing – or wearing – when he’s found.

So for example, what about ‘gifting’ your child something? Oh that’s a wonderful idea! Let’s forget that the whole point of the Elf is to watch your child to determine whether they’re on the Naughty or Nice list, and whether they’ll get coal or presents on Christmas Day. Let’s just leave a couple of tickets to a panto, a trip to see a film or perhaps a visit to Winter Wonderland for the little cherub to find. After all, Christmas isn’t expensive enough already…..😐

Or what about sending him back with some new attire? There’s a main website that sells these dolls and a gazillion accessories. So the Elf is £31.95, the Accessory pack is £26.95 and perhaps they need their own pet – a reindeer for example at £23.95. An outfit for him? £12.95. A matching one for his reindeer? Another £12.95.

This shit isn’t cheap!


And because him being a Christmas elf isn’t enough, you can now buy Birthday accessories for your little fella. Sigh…🙄

So if you do have an Elf on the Shelf in your house, try to restrain your spending – and sleep with one eye open…




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