So yesterday I did something stupid & irresponsible. I went food shopping.
I know, ridiculous right? A mum going food shopping. 🙄
I normally do this online if I’m honest, because it means I don’t have to walk round a supermarket or carry heavy bags, both of which I had to do yesterday. And therein lies the problem
Lovely Mans father is still in the hospice (which you can read about here if you would like to), so I thought it would be nice to offer to take his mum for some shopping. Hmmmm 😐
Now, her local shops are down one small one way street. It’s on a slight slope but it’s not like scaling Mt. Everest… Anyway, she told me to park right outside the first shop and off she went with her walker for support, with me following slowly behind on my walking stick. We must have looked a right pair 🙄
When she’d finished in the first shop I turned to start making my way up to the food shop, which was about 6 stores away and Lovely Mans mum stops me. Walk? She says. Walk?!?! What on EARTH was I thinking??? No, we were to get back in the car (which is bloody sore to start with), and drive all the way round the one way system to get a parking space closer to the shop that was SIX. DOORS. AWAY.
So we get back in the car and drive around until we’re back outside the food shop – and there were NO spaces. I went to pull away and go back round again when I hear loudly from the front seat ‘STOP!!! What are you thinking?? Stay here and wait for a space!’
At this point we are blocking one lane of two, desperately searching for someone who looked like they were going to move their car from right outside the food shop. Luckily we didn’t have to wait long!
Grabbing some shopping bags from the back of the car, I asked how many bags she would need. She said she didn’t need much shopping, just the basics so one bag would do.
By the time we finished, I had 2 shopping bags full. Lovely Mans mum had FIVE. FIVE – when she only has herself to feed!
Anyway, to cut what I have made a very long winded story short, it was getting the bags to the car that was the issue, and what ultimately wrote the whole of today (and probably tomorrow) off because of the pain.
We couldn’t take the trollies out of the shop and the staff were really busy so I couldn’t ask them to help. Which meant that I had to carry them to the car. Now, this was perhaps a 20ft journey, but it may as well have been 2000ft. The bags were heavy – I would never have asked Lovely Mans mum to help – so I did 5 journeys back and forward to the car with the shopping bags.
It was only as we were driving back to her house that I realised I would need to get them out at that end as well. Oh joy. 😕
My back already felt like someone was smashing my spine with a mallet, so by the time I’d got all her bags into the house and was back in the car again I just wanted to get home and lie down. And cry.
So yes, today I have been in agony. My medication hasn’t touched it, neither has my special UV lamp. Despite this, I wouldn’t change a thing. Not only did I get some shopping, but I got to spend some time with Lovely Mans mum – just us – talking about things we can’t talk about when the men are there (including the men!😉)
Its something we hardly ever get the chance to do, and at this important time in her life when she’s about to be a widow after so many years of being part of a couple, I think it’s vital that she knows she has support, people she can trust and rely on, and more importantly, family.
We are going to have more shopping trips ahead of us soon. Sadly not for things like milk & bread, but for items for the funeral.
It’s not nice to have to choose a coffin, songs, flowers etc., for a loved one. Having had the unfortunate task of arranging two funerals so far in my lifetime, I know I can help and support her as this is the first time she’s had to do this awful task.
And she knows I’ll be right there beside her. 💖