I used to be much heavier than I am now. Around 10st heavier. But it used to be around 12 1/2 stone that I’d lost.
I’m still very proud of my weight loss, but believe it or not even when I’d lost over 12 stones, I still had a ways to go.
But I felt great.
Anyway, since having to give up my job at Christmas I’ve found myself increasingly retreating away from my friends and generally not going out very much.
After speaking to the doctor she popped me onto an anti-depressant and also kindly organised some CBT therapy. Both in tandem worked incredibly, but now the CBT has stopped, the feeling of uselessness is coming back and I can’t seem to stop it.
And on top of that, an unfortunate side effect of the medication is the eating. I just can’t bloody stop! I’m eating chocolate in copious amounts – so much so that my cupboards would give Willy Wonka’s factory a run for its money! 😂
I must admit with a recent wedding that I had to attend, I have been getting more and more worried about my weight. However the more worried I get about it, the more chocolate I eat. It’s a vicious circle and one that I can’t see myself getting out of any time soon.
Something that doesn’t help but is nice in itself, is that Lovely Man loves me just the way I am. He wouldn’t care if I was 10 stone or 50 stone. He’s always complimenting me on how I look, saying how nice my shoes are or my hair is, so I don’t really have someone pushing or moaning at me to lose weight. And to be honest, I wouldn’t lose weight or change anything about myself for anyone else anyway! 😉
Recently, no matter what I’ve tried to do to stop myself eating chocolate or grazing during the day, it hasn’t worked. So I’ve decided to stop worrying about it this year and start a determined effort to lose the weight that I’ve gained this year in 2017.
I’m going to plan something, a weekend away or even a holiday, and then I have something to aim for. Let’s hope it works!